Where to Begin...

Привет Ребята,

Today, and more acutely then other days, I started to feel the erosive pangs of homesickness. Of course, my time in Russia has been amazingly invigorating. I've wandered aimlessly through the seemingly infinite collections and rooms of the Эрмитаж (State Hermitage), navigated successfully through the historic streets intersecting Nevsky Prospekt, stared in amazement and disbelief in the wake of St. Isaac's Cathedral and Kazan Cathedral, conversed haphazardly and often shamelessly with various Russians, participated to the extent that foreigners can, in День Победы (Victory Day), paid silent homage to the Romanov Dynasty at Peter and Paul Fortress... the list goes on, but for the sake of brevity and admittedly laziness, I'll stop here. St. Petersburg is truly the cultural and historical capital of Russia, and perhaps arguably the world. And I'll agree, that's a bold statement. BUT, the storied history, elements of a recent Soviet past, and the alluring, yet enduring mystique that has shaped, and continues to shape the foundation and trajectory of this city is overwhelming difficult to capture in a few paragraphs, let alone through the eyes and words of a hapless 21 year old undergrad... However, once I purchase a USB cable to connect my camera to my laptop, I'll show you in pictures.

As marvelous as Russia is, the single source of my frustration and stress is still the difficulty of its language. It's like a roller-coaster ride (cheesy analogy... check), one day I feel utterly empowered to engage with Russians in some limited capacity. My favorite topics include introductions... and yeah introductions. The next, I become excessively self-conscious, barely able to manage a simple "спасибо." Truthfully, and hopefully this will translate into proficiency in the streets, I speak more confidently in the the classroom, wherein the professors' nonjudgemental encouragements help me through difficult expressions and the crazily difficult verbal governance. It's here that I feel most comfortable, which is of course the reason for the classroom setting. Yet, my experiences with Russian has been supremely humbling.
My grandiose fantasies of achieving fluency in several short years, and perhaps enrolling at Lomonsov for graduate studies, has been Nicholas II-ed - taken to a bleak basement on the pretense of innocence and shot dead. However, equipped with more realistic and manageable ambitions, I guess some burden has been lifted. For starters, I don't beat myself up so consistently for messing of a conjugation or a noun declination, which will invariably save me years of therapy and ad hoc-ly diverted 401K funds in the future. Yet, for those times that I can speak successfully and engagingly with Russians, all previous notions of inadequacy silently slip in oblivion. It is these moments that summon my confidence and interest to keep going, to keep working through the grammar and pronunciation, and to keep my head on straight, which for me is sometimes a hard challenge. Sisyphus had it easy... all he had to to was roll an immense boulder up an hill for all eternity... he never had to learn Russian.

All things considered though, my Russian has been improving in every recognizable way. My vocabulary in expanding, especially my "survival Russian," which involves phrases and expressions for simple tasks and transactions for daily life, and you'd be amazed how complicated these things can be... And with an expanding vocabulary, my reading and writing skills are markedly improving. If there's one thing that I can crush these private-school Duke students on, it's grammar (Большое спасибо Сара!) Of course the final frontiers are listening and speaking, and I'm eager to report that these too have seen significant improvement. I can now understand most of my professors and ask situational questions when prompted, and increasingly out of my own curiosity. So for this, I am content, but still a bit homesick. I could really a homecooked meal that didn't consist of something in shrinkwrap or crude packaging. Oh well...

Anyways, I have to eat some ужин, but I'll write soon!


Пока,

Louis/Луис/Азамат